Let me preface this (for those that read both Andrew's and my writings) by saying that I started this little mumbling on Dec. 28, and didn't get to finish it until today. I happened to also get to Andrew's latest blog today, and found myself giggling. Read his, then read mine, and you'll see why.
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Last night, I enjoyed the best part of my Christmas. When I moved into the townhouse that I now call home, in August 2003, I discovered that it didn't have a sprayer in the kitchen sink. No problem, I thought -- they have those little swivel-y attachments, I'll just pick one up for $3.99. I bought one, brought it home, and (despite its claims to fit any faucet) it didn't fit. Went back, bought another one -- which also didn't fit. So I've lived without a sprayer, and managed to have survived, somehow.
I also discovered fairly early on that the garbage disposal leaked, even when not being run. Simply turning on the faucet in the sink would cause a fairly steady drip-drip-drip-drip into the dishpan that I had given a permanent home under the disposal. Since I don't have company too often, and don't end up cooking actual food as frequently as I probably should, the lack of a properly functioning disposal was not a big issue. Still, it bugged me, so when I made up my "Dear Santa" list this year, I decided to add this glamorous item to the list, knowing that it might well be something that my ever-so-handy dad might enjoy wrapping up.
On Christmas morning, as we neared the end of the ridiculously large pile of presents under the tree, I spied one more for me in the back. I'm not sure if it was assigned, or if I've taken charge, or if I just happen to be the one sitting near the tree on the floor in my jammies every year, but I seem to be the designated gift-giver-outer at our house. It's a task I enjoy, and am good at. But I digress..... I spied one more present for me, and discovered that it was not one to just be lifted with one hand up and over the lowest branches. I knew what it was, and was happy about it. A lot of my friends and family will tell you I'm a little odd, but that's without knowing that I was excited over receiving a workhorse appliance for Christmas. Most of them, upon learning that, are probably rolling their eyes a little, and muttering to themselves "Yup, that's Pam...."
So, I lugged my new In-Sink-Erator 5/8 horsepower Badger 5 Plus home (insert Tim Allen-style grunt here) and set it in the middle of my living room, right next to my new yummy lilac fleece blanket, my soft-soft-soft teddy bear and my 2 baskets full of pretty-smelly bath stuff. Picture that: girly......girly......girly......plumbing. Once again, those who know and love me are rolling their eyes, and muttering "Yup, still Pam..."
On Monday evening, after having finished the jigsaw puzzle I was working on and playing several games of electronic Yahtzee, I decided I'd better have a go at installing this thing. I get the Badger out of the box, glance over the instructions, and realize that the adjustable wrench it calls for is one of the tools I gave back to my ex when I was divvying up the tools. So, I haul myself over to Lowe's Hardware at 8:30 at night to buy a Crescent wrench. It's something every girl should have around, anyway. And I'm thinking to myself, "Self, as long as you're going to have the disposal out of there, that'd make it a bit easier to replace the faucet." So I wandered back to aisle 42, picked out an inexpensive faucet that had a tall spigot and a sprayer, and (with a strut in my step and a self-complimenting grin on my face) took my purchases to the checkout. I have to say, I really was hoping for someone to mention how tough this was going to be to install, or did my boyfriend send me to the store, or something to allow me to point out what a studly she-ra I was, but alas, all she wanted was my payment.
So I paid up, and strutted back out to the car, and headed home. I got the water turned off, the old disposal removed (easy, really -- just turn and keep from dropping it through the cabinet floor), and then tackled the job of evicting the Amway water filter that I used exactly 3 times. I finally gave up on figuring out how to get the supply hose disconnected from the base of the main pipe, and settled for cutting the hose and hoping I could get the mini-valve turned off completely (which I did).
So, now I've got the disposal out, the water filter out, and I maneuvered my way into the cabinet on my back to begin the job of getting the faucet out. Again, this is fundamentally easy, but the angle at which you're required to work is more than a little awkward. Could be worse, I suppose -- it could be at a Blarney Stone angle. Anyhoo, with basin wrench in hand (yes, I actually own this specialty gadget), I removed all the things attaching the faucet to the sink, and extricated it. I put the plumber's putty on the new one (yup, had that on-hand as well), put it in place and attached and tightened all the right things, tested it, then untightened all the right things, turned the darn thing around and re-tightened all the right things. Seems there's a forwards and backwards to faucets. Seems there's also a little base plate that the plumber's putty should go on, and that goes under the faucet, but it all seems to work without this piece in place. Besides, what's a fix-it job without leftover pieces?
I got the faucet all figured out, installed the new disposal (including transferring the power cord from the old to the new unit) and adjusted the pipes, and guess what? IT RUNS AND NOTHING LEAKS!!!!! I thought about calling my daddy to tell him what his eldest daughter did all-by-herself, but as it was 11:00 at night, I saved my bragging for another day. My back, ribs and arms were sore, my jeans were dirty and there are (still) tools and pieces-parts strewn about my kitchen floor, but the satisfaction of having successfully tackled such a project put a silly grin on my face that was still with me when I strutted into work the next morning. Sure, there are plenty of times when I wish I was a petite, dainty little thing (not that I'm a hippo, mind you, but dainty isn't a word that's ever been used to describe me, to the best of my knowledge) who gets the big strong man to help with every little thing, but I take great pride in knowing that I'm a self-sufficient girl. Woman. Chick. Whatever. The basic knowledge of household tools,and the troubleshooting skills that my father imparted to my sister and I have served us well for several years, and will continue to do so. And I have the distinct pleasure of giggling at my friend Andrew next time I see him, while I picture what his attempt at this might have been like.
Maybe I should pick up one of those Leatherman™ tools -- I'll bet that would have come in handy. Hey Karen, where'dja get that pink one?